Whimsical Musings

Sara watched, mesmerized, as a blue butterfly flitted across the terrace and settled onto her untouched coffee mug with a twitch of its boldly patterned wings. There was a gentle wind blowing, just enough to barely rustle the leaves of the bougainvillea that crept along the walls of the terrace.
To her tired eyes, everything seemed mind-numbingly vivid, until for a few seconds she could discern no form, but merely colours. The blue of the little insect in front of her suddenly seemed to spread into the faded stone tables, the only thing standing out in the backdrop being the startlingly bright pink flowers of the creeper. The air smelled so crisp, so clean.
“Would you like anything else, miss?” interrupted the waiter.
The butterfly flitted away, snapping Sara out of her reverie. She focused on the waiter’s face, as she replied, “Er, no, well actually, I’d like another cup of coffee, I’m afraid this one’s gone cold.”
As she watched him walk away, she smiled wryly. Predictable. Such moments never lasted long. She supposed she should have felt thankful that she had those moments, as ephemeral as the butterfly’s life. She nearly giggled at the idea of resorting to a cliché like that to describe what she had felt for those few moments.
As she glanced up, she looked at the man sitting a few tables away. She'd noticed him the moment she'd walked in. She'd seen him come here before. He was dressed in a suit, he usually was. Blue tie. Her favourite colour. He had short black hair, just a little spiky, although not like those wannabe-cool teenage boys. It suited him. A narrow chin. He made her feel apprehensive and nervous and excited all at once. She wasn't used to this feeling. She wasn't sure she liked it too much. What was the point? There's no way he'd even realize she existed. She looked down quickly to avoid meeting his eyes. She felt a little prick of self pity.
She was being unreasonable. She had so much to be grateful for. Yet, she wasn't satisfied. She wouldn’t say she was unhappy with her life. She had a wonderful, steady job, which even allowed her to indulge in her fancies. She had the two best friends anyone could ask for; both thankfully different enough to even keep life interesting. Her family was doing well, she loved them so much. She felt a bit guilty at having to add that thought after mention of her family, as if someone had implied otherwise. Annoyed with herself for falling into that same trap of old insecurities and guilt, she frowned into her new cup of coffee that the waiter just brought in. She found this whole line of reasoning utterly ridiculous.
As she breathed in the rich scent of her black coffee, she relaxed a bit, slumping her shoulders in resignation.
It wasn’t that she was sad. It was obvious she had no reason to be. Everything about her life seemed perfect. She was reasonably accomplished for a twenty-four year old. It wasn’t so much that she was unhappy as not-happy. Yes, that was it. She was so blasé about life in general. She supposed it was expected. Such monotony. Was she setting her standards too high? She wasn’t going to be predictable by thinking of all those who were deprived of the good things in life to remind herself that she already had enough. Damn! She just did. Ah well what can you do. It’s what you got when you argued with yourself. She caught herself before she drifted off again into aimless thought.
She needed to focus. Her life. Boring. Gotta do something. But what? Wait, wasn’t she just speculating on the ‘whys’? When did she get to the ‘what next'? She was getting ahead of herself. Or maybe she had the attention span of a four-year old. Staring at the bottom of her now empty coffee mug, she sighed exasperatedly. She blew her bangs out of her face with little success. Expecting that, she brushed her hair away from her eyes with a grim smile. As a shadow fell across her table, she looked up to see the man looking down at her with an uncertain smile.
“Hi. My name’s Kanishk. Uh, do you mind if I join you?”
Caught off guard, Sara fumbled for words, “Um, actually, I was just about to leave…”
“I won’t keep you long then, a few minutes at most”, he insisted.
“Um, sure, uh, go ahead.”
As he settled into the chair opposite her, Sara looked at him more closely. He had chocolate brown eyes. He was even better looking up-close. Now why in the world would someone this cute sit down at her table? She immediately grew suspicious and eyed him warily.
“You know, this is exactly why I was tempted to come over and talk to you.”
“Huh?” was all she could come up with. Here she was talking to this incredibly gorgeous man, well maybe not that gorgeous, but reasonably attractive man, one who she'd happen to have her eye on for some time, and all she could say was ‘huh’? She willed someone to come stab her.
“I was watching you from that table over there, and I didn’t mean to pry but it was a bit difficult to look away when I saw your face change expressions faster than Elizabeth Taylor could ever change husbands,” he said, wincing at his dreadful analogy. Nervously fiddling with his tie, he bravely continued, “ I know I should feel guilty but…uh…well, I was wondering, when you’re convinced that I have no ulterior motives and are well on your way to sympathizing with me for the absolute mortification I feel right now for torturing you with the worst analogy ever made, maybe you’d want to go out with me?”
She just stopped herself from gaping at him. Surprised? She was more shocked. Did she happen to think her life was boring? Or was that predictable? God, he has little gold flecks in his eyes. What are the odds of that? And if she were to believe what she just heard, he was floundering even worse than her. He just made a fool of himself over her!She felt the blush creep into her cheeks. She was being silly. Good God, he was cute. Adorable. Did she just think he was adorable? She didn’t even know the man! She couldn’t possibly say yes to him!
“Okay! I mean, I’d like that. That would be quite nice. We could meet here…same time Friday?” she finished breathlessly.
“You would?” he asked, clearly astonished, “Um, that would be wonderful…”
“Sara, my name’s Sara…”
“Right, Sara, I’ll see you then”, he smiled again, a little more confidently, got up and started to walk down the steps leading to the road below. He stopped after a few paces, turning back, much to Sara’s satisfaction, twice, before he finally disappeared down the stairs.
Completely forgetting about her earlier worries, she smiled foolishly into her coffee mug, shaking her head, already wondering if he’d actually make it next Friday. Even if he didn’t, at least she could pretend she had something to look forward to. Biting her lip, she let out a breathless laugh as she paid and left, her stride easy and carefree, giving in to the urge to sing softly as she walked home.